custody battle

Compiled by Cordell & Cordell Divorce Attorneys For Men

The divorce procedure is usually very difficult and trying for anyone experiencing information technology. It is especially difficult if your divorce involves a kid custody battle.

These hard times often cause a person to act or react irrationally and in ways that detrimentally affect his or her case.

You should be aware prior to court proceedings that the court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the proceedings and always behave accordingly.

Beneath are some of the factors judges consider when making a child custody conclusion along with the 10 most common mistakes made by men during custody battles. This should provide a checklist of what not to du during a custody boxing.

Best Interest Of The Child Standard

To determine how not to behave during your custody battle, it is helpful to review the criteria used by the gauge ("courtroom") to determine appropriate placement of the children. The courtroom is charged with the responsibleness of evaluating the situation to determine what placement and parenting time is in the child'due south best interest.

Some of the considerations include but are not express to:

a) The length of fourth dimension that the kid has been under the bodily care and control of any person other than a parent and the circumstances relevant thereto;

b) the desires of the parents as to residence-agreements reached past the parents and submitted to the courtroom are usually presumed to exist in the child'due south all-time interest;

c) the interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;

d) the child's adjustment to the his or her home, school, and community;

due east) the willingness and ability of each parent to respect and appreciate the bond betwixt the child and the other parent and to permit for a standing relationship between the kid and the other parent;

f) any evidence or accusation of spousal abuse;

g) whatever evidence or allegation of child abuse on this or whatsoever other child;

h) whether either parent is required to register as a sex offender;

i) whether a parent is residing with a person who is required to annals equally a sex offender;

j) whether a parent has been bedevilled of corruption of a child;

k) whether a parent is residing with a person who has been convicted of abuse of a child

Picket Your Beliefs

Whether you are fighting to be the primary residential parent or for weekend visits with your children, the evaluation process past the courtroom volition cover all of your beliefs.

In particular, expect your children'southward mother to point out all negative behavior during your custody boxing. If you lot carry equally though the judge were standing next to you each time y'all collaborate with the children or their female parent, you volition certainly avoid the pitfalls that will reduce your custody chances.

In reviewing the following listing of what not to practise during a custody boxing, keep in listen the fact that children are wonderful mimics. You should expect your children to tell their mother everything you tell them. Knowing this, you should be enlightened of things said to the children or around the children that chronicle to their female parent.

Conversations As Evidence

Yous should also conceptualize your children's mother hiding a record recorder on or nigh her person when yous interact. Recorded phone conversations are mutual during divorce proceedings. In such cases, words spoken out of anger and frustration speedily get the rope that hangs the speaker.

Technically, such recordings should not be permissible, but some courts volition hear them for the purpose of evaluating a parent's intentions and mental land. Practise non exist caught on tape proverb things you would non say with the approximate nowadays.

It should go without saying that any email or text message correspondence can be easily handed to the judge for review then fits within the same admonition. The admission of such written lapses in judgment is much easier since you clearly knew information technology was documented at the time.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

This list is not exhaustive merely includes some of the most common mistakes made by men during child custody battles. As an chaser, making sure clients avoid these missteps is vital in figuring out how to win child custody for fathers. Information technology is frequently an uphill climb due to the court's bias against dads, but avoiding self-inflicted mistakes is crucial.

1. Breach of affection

Children thrive best in a ii-parent household whenever possible. If a parent makes information technology a habit to put downwards the other parent, the children experience torn and forced to choose one parent over the other.

This is very frustrating and confusing for the children. Judges are quite familiar with the damage this behavior can cause and are extremely intolerant when this behavior occurs.

The two most common forms of alienation of amore that get dads into trouble are: criticizing mom around the kids and keeping the children from mom in any mode. This behavior can lead to parental alienation, which can have very harmful effects on children.

On the other paw, when the female parent keeps the kid from the male parent, parental alienation tin can occur, and that has serious ramifications.

two. Yell at wife and/or children

Equally covered to a higher place, assume all conversations are being recorded. When you yell at your wife or your children it oft gives the appearance that you are beingness abusive or bullying them.

Men are in a distinct position in this order where they are presumed to exist dominating and more powerful than women (and of course children). That beingness the case, women are in a position to claim they are afraid of their hubby or the male parent of their children. Whether their fright is authentic or not, the court takes such allegations very seriously.

Exercise not give her any armament for the court. A tape recording of a telephone conversation or an in-person argument will appear to the courtroom to demonstrate you losing command and mayhap becoming unsafe.

No thing how difficult information technology becomes, fight the urge to yell at your wife or your children. If that becomes a general rule yous will not need to worry about such behavior impeding you in courtroom.

common divorce mistakes 3. Have a concrete confrontation with wife and/or children

Making physical contact with some other person in a harmful or offensive manner is a offense. Some states call that crime "bombardment" others refer to it as "attack." Any the term, it is criminal.

You lot cannot very well care for your children from jail. No matter how upset y'all become during these proceedings, you must not make physical contact with your wife or children when yous are angry.

If this is something that has occurred in the past, you demand to acknowledge that you are susceptible to such behavior and leave the surface area when you become upset. It is much improve to walk abroad from an argument so to be in a position where you take trivial or no time with your children or such time is supervised by a stranger.

In that location are many women who are abusive toward their husbands. It is no less a criminal offence for a adult female to be physically calumniating toward yous or your children. If yous feel such a state of affairs is going to occur, you should attempt to go out the area. If you feel the children are in danger, you evidently would non leave them alone with her at that fourth dimension.

If she hits, pushes, punches, or otherwise makes contact with you in an offensive way while she is angry, y'all need to call the police. Such beliefs should be reported. The police will care for her the same manner they would have treated you and she will go to jail. Legislation related to domestic violence has increased over the years and police enforcement no longer treats it equally a family dispute.

Judges take these matters very seriously too because physical violence betwixt parents is very confusing and upsetting to children. Studies take shown that children who witness domestic violence from an early age endure developmental challenges likewise as life-long emotional problems.

iv. Move in with a meaning other

Divorce is a difficult time for children. It is hard for them to grasp the idea that their parents' dearest for each other tin can simply cease. Things are fifty-fifty more difficult when it becomes clear that the dearest transferred to a person that is not the child's mother.

Courts are reluctant to expose children to such truths. Judges do not appreciate children being exposed to meaning others while a divorce is proceeding.

Moreover, children are unlikely to be comfortable effectually the new woman and may reject to stay overnight or even visit your home if she is in that location. That will certainly forestall you from having a healthy relationship with your children.

The fourth dimension will come when you are ready to start dating again afterward divorce, but until the divorce is final – and fifty-fifty for a while after – do not expose the children to a new woman.

v. Criticize mother to friends, family, case worker, or guardian advertisement litem

Keep in mind that your friends at present are likely friends that were shared by both parties at i fourth dimension. Y'all should look friends to however talk to both parties. Assume comments y'all make volition go back to your wife.

If a case worker or guardian advert litem is assigned to your example, exist enlightened that they are looking intently for signs of breach of affection. Do not let them see information technology coming from you. Focus on the good relationship y'all have with your children and how well y'all communicate. Exercise not waste fourth dimension criticizing their mother. That is easily misinterpreted as breach of affection.

Caveat: if the children'south mother is involved in illegal drug use or otherwise engaging in beliefs that is unsafe to the children, this should be brought to the attention of the case worker or guardian advertising litem and closely investigated. Be certain you have some form of unbiased evidence before making such allegations or you lot over again run into the problem of actualization to exist trying to amerce the children from their mother.

6. Fail to pay child support

If the court enters an order of back up and you lot cull to ignore it, that is considered antipathy of court. If the approximate makes a finding that you are in antipathy, you may be fined or even jailed for such beliefs.

As a general rule, judges experience that paying child support is more of import then whatsoever other financial obligations. Failure to pay child support appears to the court as a lack of respect for the court and lack of business concern for your children.

Obviously it costs money to raise children. Child support amounts are set using several variables to determine what it will take for the child to go on to survive as the kid had prior to the breakup. You may hire an experienced men's divorce attorney to fight the back up amounts ordered if you take adept cause, just until the court orders otherwise, yous are responsible for paying child back up equally ordered.

If ordered to pay your wife directly, always practise this past bank check and relieve the receipts from the banking concern showing these checks cleared. Information technology is disquisitional that you can trace your child support payments in example your wife later denies receiving cash payments.

vii. Damage property belonging to mom or her family unit

Property harm is often a sign of aggression that is building up in a person. Not only volition the courtroom brand you pay to supersede whatever damaged holding, the courtroom may also see you every bit a threat to your children due to such beliefs.

8. Deny phone contact with mom when the children are with you

This relates back to the earlier topic on alienation of amore simply may not always be as obvious. Even if you take limited fourth dimension with a child such equally a couple hours a week, you lot must allow that child to telephone call mom when requested.

In addition, if she calls to cheque on the child, you demand to be polite and let her to talk to the child unless that would cause disruption or the child is sleeping. Keep in mind that such calls from mom must be reasonable.

Children should feel gratuitous to communicate with either parent at whatever time. If your wife denies you contact with your children when y'all call, exist sure to keep a journal of the dates and times then the court may address it if it becomes a trouble. You should expect your wife is keeping a like periodical.

ix. Have kids out of the area without alarm mom in accelerate

If you lot take a family vacation or reunion planned exterior the metropolitan surface area in which y'all live, be sure that you have notified their mother earlier y'all take the children. Many parents accomplish understanding about vacation times with the children so that each parent has an opportunity to spend a week or two out of boondocks with the kids.

If you leave the surface area without notifying your wife, it may appear you are attempting to kidnap the children. That could result in her obtaining emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time or custody. If at all possible, try to notify her in writing two weeks in accelerate so at that place will be no confusion when the fourth dimension comes.

10. Remove children from school or daycare without notice to mom

Temporary orders will normally designate parenting fourth dimension only rarely includes the fourth dimension when the child is at school or in daycare. If the school allows you to visit the children over lunch or other times, yous should freely do so as long as it is not a distraction.

You should never remove the children from school or daycare if you lot are non the main custodian. Even if you are the primary custodian, the children should remain in school or daycare unless you have a adept reason to remove them.

Expect your wife to bring the judge a printout from the school that will show tardies and absences while the children are in your care. If you are not primary custodian, removal from school or daycare may appear that you are kidnapping the children and could result in serious restriction or full termination of your parenting time.

As experienced divorce litigators, we know how to win child custody for fathers, but there are never whatsoever guarantees. Nosotros besides know what not to do during a custody battle and avoiding the above mistakes tin at to the lowest degree keep you in the fight.

I of the well-nigh important steps you can accept to help yourself in whatsoever child custody dispute is hiring a divorce lawyer to assistance with your example. Family law attorneys who focus on men's divorce and fathers' rights, such as the lawyers of Cordell & Cordell, take a unique agreement of the challenges dads face throughout the process and tin can help position you for success in your child custody battle.

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